I mostly try to keep my blog professional with lots of ideas and inspiration, but I have recently felt that people would like to get to know more about the person behind the blog.
It has been a rather difficult year so far, after losing my Mum very suddenly in May, internally I have struggled.It would be so easy to just give up and walk away from things, hide away. It is so hard that the whole world carries on when all you want to do is stop the world from spinning and get off for a while.
One of the hardest things was literally one week after my Mother funeral I had a wedding to
co-ordinate. At the time I really could not imagine how I was going to get through it. But I did, I put a smile on my face and the show went on. The bride and her family were great, but part of being a professional is making sure that no matter what, you don't let anyone down. Whilst inside my heart was breaking, I knew that my Mum would be pushing me forward, to carry on and not feel sad.
Funnily enough I have since then had a very busy year, not really much time to sit and grieve, it comes and goes in waves, but each time I am setting up for a wedding, every bow I tie, I can feel my Mum almost perched on my shoulder watching me. It does give me a great form of comfort.
What I do miss though, is having her as a sounding board for all my ideas, someone to show "look Mum this is what I did today" I miss being able to call her on the phone and saying hello.
I am sure that wherever she is, she is watching down on me, I hope she's proud of me.
Slowly and surely I am regaining my will to get back into things and regain more balance in my life.
To anyone else who is reading this that has lost someone close to them recently, my heart goes out to you.
Stay strong and keep smiling
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